by Brad MacIntyre
This poem/lyric was read at a school chapel at La Sierra Academy. Its authorship date is prior to 1979.
Now I don't drink and I don't swear
I don't take dope or have long hair,
I go to church each week. Oh yes, I do.
I never eat before going to bed,
I'll drink a glass of juice instead,
And jog each day at least a mile or two.
Now all my life I've been pretty good,
I've always done just what I should,
My parents were missionaries over seas.
I got all "A's" in Bible class
And studied hard so I could pass,
And even bought my books from the ABC's
(The Adventist Book Center)
I know my memory verse each week,
And when called upon can always speak;
I'm never at a loss for words you see.
Cause I've been educated at Andrews U
And Loma Linda and Oakwood too
I've even done my time at C.U.C.
Now I've been taught to keep the law.
You don't goof up or have a flaw
Lest we embarrass dear old Mom and Dad.
No, you don't wear jeans, you don't wear slacks.
You can't eat this, you can't eat that--
Rules, Rules, Rules are all I ever had.
I never listen to Rock and Roll.
or watch T.V. or even bowl,
And I'm a vegetarian all the way.
And of course I pay a faithful tithe
And give my offerings on the side
When when they have a potluck at church -
I always stay
(Yum Yum! - love that cottage cheese loaf!)
And when each November rolls around
I grab my can and hit the town
for the Church's World-wide Services Appeal
And of course you know I never fail
To buy my food from Collegedale
If you buy it by the case, you get quite a deal.
(Especially during Camp Meeting.)
I'll never drink a Coca Cola;
On Thursdays I make my own granola,
I give my clothes to Dorcas when they get to tight.
At Wednesday night meeting, I'm always there
And remember my neighbor in a special prayer
And last Summer I bought all the books by Sister White!
(of course, they're still in their wrappers,
but they're there.)
I study my lesson every day,
And when I find the time, I try to pray.
But, I don't want to get fanatical, you know?
In fact, I've just become a Master Guide.
And I know all the words to "Side by Side"--
I mean - How much higher can a mere mortal go?!
(Side by side we stand....)
And when I get confused about what to do,
I pick up the Old Advent Review
And get all the answers in plain old black and white.
'Cause I'm a busy man, and it's absurd.
To spend hours and hours reading the Word,
And I trust our publications to be right.
Yes, I've found the church where I belong -
Why! I don't think I've done anything wrong
For at least two years, or maybe it's been three.
I know I'm walking in the light.
Sometimes I'm bored, but that's all right.
Because there's a crown in heaven just for me.
(At least that's what they told me in Cradle Roll.)
But recently I've head some talk.
They say I need a closer walk
With Jesus. If I'll only let Him in.
Well, I'm all for that -- I'll give it a try,
Although I often wonder "Why?"
And ask myself -- "Just where does He fit in?"